I’ve always been aware of their presence. But my relationship with you was so tender and young that I felt it best to ignore them, to pretend that they did not exist. I realize now what a mistake that was. Like a lot of young girls, I made your beliefs more important than my own. I was vulnerable and alone. I felt that solitude was my enemy. Now I know it is my dear, sweet friend.
So the thoughts and feelings that I buried when young, the elusive and mythical beasts that I ignored for the convenience for others, are welcome now. They are a part of me in a way that you never should be. Not because I’ve excluded you, but because you never understood me to begin with. You chose your place with the others and now you must discover your own place in the world.
It’s funny, really. To think that once upon a time I believed that I should ignore and bury what I could plainly see simply because you were incapable of seeing it too.
I can not tell you how I broke the spell. Time, I guess. I grew up. I gathered wisdom with age. I learned to listen. I shed my security blankets.
Now I understand. Your opinion did not matter to me, as it was based on your own past experiences. And your experiences do not apply to me. Some day you will find the one that they are applicable to. I wanted you, and I thought that it would be admitting failure if I said that I did not agree with you.
But now you are my past. I can accept the parts of me that I was afraid of before. I can see the mythical. I can embrace the folklore of my being. I am my own story. I love my past and my future because it is mine. It is wholly my own.
I no longer need you to validate what I see.
Art in this post by Gustave Moreau (1826-1898) The Unicorns